Unpredictable, like J. Foxx

August 2, 2006

Maybe it’s the wacky barometric pressure that precedes the arrival of tropical storms, but this past week I have done some things that surprised me, some seriously un-me things. I don’t know if these things will stick, or if I am going to wake up in a week or three and shake them off like late-night Taco Bell induced bad dreams. Maybe you can advise via some comentitos, dear readers. In ascending order…
Thing #2

Went to the library and checked out a whole stack of books that I have never once before felt an urge to read: crime novels. We’re talking about grizzled detectives and dead bodies folks, and I am way into them. On the heels of Miami Vice and Veronica Mars (fabulous titles brought to you by the letters M and V), I have realized that the crime genre, especially in its more noirish varieties, is probably my true literary calling of 2006. This year, my trust in the world at large has pretty much been demolished six different ways, so I am primed for the disillusioned mindset of PI’s, and the classicist in me loves to compare them all to Achilles.

Thing #1

Please keep in mind that this one is difficult to admit. I think I am more nervous about people knowing this about me than just about anything else I could divulge. With great trepidation, I bought one of these:


Don’t worry, my sister has been assuring me for years that it only looks like an instrument of 12th century torture. It’s really supposed to curl your eyelashes, which is supposed to be vital to the wearing of your mascara. I bought some of that too, because I read in Cosmo that you have to not use a tube of it more than three months or risk losing your eyesight to nasty infections. I did a little inventory, and all of mine is several years old, dating from a time when my mother believed that I could be saved from a life of t-shirt and jeans self-neglect if only I had the right tools. It didn’t work, but lately I’ve been overdosing on How Do I Look and rarely does an episode go by that I don’t see something resembling my actual wardrobe being ridiculed. Time to care maybe? (But how?? How do I make up for years of ignorance and cheapness and become presentable? That is for a future blog entry, for now I’m just staring at the implement.)

Okay, when I started this post, I thought the list would be longer. Turns out it’s only two things. I think the eyelash curlers, however, count for at least three.

Perhaps both these things are just a sign of my impending birthday. I’m growing up, for real real. Normally a birthday does not impend until less than a month before, but the one coming up for me is kind of a landmark. A landmark age that dare not speak its name just yet, but I was born in 1981 so you can do the math. It’s not an age I want to reach feeling just as clueless and unaccomplished as the last. It’s probably too late to make any serious changes (i.e., don’t think I can publish a book between now and October, oops) but maybe I can just get started with some good habits. So, do women like wear make-up every day, or is that just my sister….?

PS Sorry about the title of this post. I just couldn’t resist. For those of you who missed it, Mr. Foxx released an album this year. Not very distinguished I guess. But I thought it was a nice tie-in w/ Miami Vice and the phrase “like a fox.”


5 Responses to “Unpredictable, like J. Foxx”

  1. Lauren Says:

    Fear not the eyelash curler. I have to admit I don’t really use one, opting instead to rotate the mascara-applier thingy while coating my lashes in thick black gunk, giving the illusion of length. But, still it’s a fun a little tool.

    As for the makeup question, I grew up watching my mother, a woman who does not leave the house without her “face” on, so I’m a bit warped. I’ve never really understood makeup — I mean I understand the concept, I’ve just never really had a handle on execution. So, I try to find one thing (or shade) that works for me and stick with that. Because honestly, as with a number of things in my life, I’m really good at knowing what I don’t like (bright red lipstick, skinny jeans, stirrup pants) but not all that great at articulating what I do like. I usually just ape what someone else does and hope no one asks too many questions.

    And eye-liner, especially of the liquid variety, is an agent of the devil.

  2. Lauren Says:

    Oh, and on your other new interest, if you’re into some very dark mystery/noir stuff, you might want to check out George Pelecanos or Pete Dexter.

    Pelecanos is more of a detective guy, writing about DC and its immediate environs. His outlook is more than a little bleak. I’ve only ready Paris Trout by Pete Dexter, which I must say is a rather gruesome Southern novel. There’s no detective, just a stalwart old lawyer.

    And, of course, there is Dennis Lehane. Mystic River was okay, but I much prefer his other, Gennaro/Somethingothername mysteries, which are all set in Boston. Scary! (Ben Affleck is making a movie of one of them, which makes me sad.)

  3. Frida Says:

    It’s never too late. Just ask Diego. When we met (in my mid 20’s)I had one pair of shoes and my standard uniform was a pair of overall’s. yes that’s correct. Long and short. I am far from glamorous (i’m slowly working on it) but look how far i have come. Now I don’t have enough closet space for my shoes and I don’t often leave the house without some mascara. That’s about as far as i’ve come though. no eyelash torture instruments for my baby hazel’s. I also believe in the late bloomer. All those beautiful highschool kids who never had an awkard day in their lives where are they now. The prom king and queen have no where to go but downhill. They peaked at 16. So don’t worry, you still have time. A rare flower takes time to bloom.
    Frida (i’ve got an appointment for an eyebrow wax soon)

  4. Liz Says:

    It’s comment Christmas! A blogger could not have asked for better comentitos than these. Self-deprecating humor combined with practical advice, forming an inspirational mix that brings a smile to Liz’s face. I shall boldly soldier on with the implement and the more fun, colored things that go with it. And I shan’t get too depressed if it takes several years, not days, to find a style that is my own, make-up and otherwise. Frida and L-C to the B, you are my inspirations. If intelligent women such as yourself have tamed the beast with all of your IQ points intact, then it’s time for me to listen up. It’s fun, right?

    PS I did pick up some George Pelecanos, because I’ve read several glowing reviews of The Night Gardener. My library didn’t have that one yet, but it had plenty of others to choose from. Right now I’m working on Miami-centric authors that Salon suggested: Charles Willeford and John D. MacDonald.

  5. SB Says:

    I can’t help much with the make up. I’ve had to wear it for plays, and I’d classify it as hellish.

    Are you exploring noir films as well as novels? You should check out the Almodovar film Bad Education. Spanish transvestites, priests, film makers, and Gael Garcia Bernal. What more could you want?

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