Of course, that last post has a coda

December 12, 2006

And the coda goes like this:

After a tense two post-work hours in which D and fumed towards each other and nursed our academic wounds, we dragged ourselves out of the house to meet up with my Creative Nonfiction gang for a post-semester pub night. I was dreading it. I had been looking forward to it, but now it seemed like it would be a painful charade. But then again, earlier in the semester one of my these workshoppers had confided in me that his wife, working towards her PhD in Psychology, had failed her qualifying defense due to shoddy advising and that this set them back as a couple working towards a dual-career household by at least a year. So that’s a reality check: academic mishaps happen, and there is a way through. So that thought calmed me down. Also, the thought of staying at home was also just too bad. (A new and unpleasant feeling. My oh my we have been a sheltered couple.) Plus, if English beer couldn’t cheer us up, nothing could.

Within moments of walking into the pub, we learned that C, an effortlessly elegant Italian in my workshop, had a flat tire. She was panicking, and with her two inch nails she had clearly never changed a spare in her life. Without being asked, D put down his Boddington’s and ventured out to the parking lot to get started jacking up her Isuzu Rodeo and putting on its full size spare.  Seeing the gratitude, and surprise that someone else’s husband would be so definite about wanting to do it for her, in her eyes reminded me, yet again, that grades don’t matter for shit. What matters is the man loves me and knows how to do right. While the other males in the class stayed by their pints, D quietly set about loosening greasy screws. And more, he’s the kind of person you just don’t have to ask.  He just does it.

I have a lot to learn.

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2 Responses to “Of course, that last post has a coda”

  1. AH Says:

    Oh Liz! You are my hero. You are as thoughtful and compassionate a person as I know. That might not be the response you need — it certainly doesn’t begin to answer any of the questions you’re facing — but I hope it helps to know that on the score of admiration, I feel toward you something like what you feel toward D.

    Don’t get me wrong, though: I’m not asking you out. I don’t go for the married ones.

  2. frida Says:

    It sounds like it’s time for a bubble bath with some good chocolate,candels, and wine.
    I’m certianly not the one to give advise on school and grades because for the most part they don’t matter to me.
    What does matter is how good you are at something and how much you like to do it. Actually knowing what you want to do is most of the battle. I think the rest falls slowly into place. My mother changed jobs at least every 5-10 yrs trying to figure it out.
    We think she’s finally happy although she does not make as much money as she used to. Diego had to work in a warehouse, then beg for blood before he finally found just an ok job that luckily also pays just ok. That may sound discouraging and it was while it was happening but in the end it happened that way for a reason. Diego definately built some character and humility along the way and proved that he was willing to and could do anything. No sitting with his pint while someone else changes the tire.
    I won’t go on because I know that you know one grade is not the end of the world. It’s only the begining!
    Frida


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