Cranky Tuesday

October 16, 2007

I think I’m going to start Cranky Tuesday as a regular feature on this blog. After reading Hazlitt’s “On the Pleasures of Hating” for creative nonfic workshop last night, I’m ready to get my hate awn. Although thinking about AH’s comment re: WTSTB temporarily buoyed my mood and got my brain on a track more productive than indulging in irrational levels of anger, a quick scroll through the NYT reminded me that oh yes, it’s still a Tuesday. So, here it is, things that are making me want to rename Tuesday as Boos-day:

  • My car is broken again as of last night. The tail lights won’t turn off. Checked the fuses, unplugged the bulbs. Now it’s a waiting game to find out just how much this one is going to cost us.
  • While D was driving me to work this morning, amidst the sea of Land Rovers and Hummers, I saw a woman pushing her son in a stroller while walking her two older children to school. Aww so cute, right? Woulda had been, if not for the fact that she paused the stroller every few steps to adjust the portable DVD player in her stroller’ed son’s lap. Yes, that’s right. A walk to school is just toooo boring to live through without your DVD on. Esp. if you are three years old.
  • Insurance companies are canceling homeowner’s policies in places that have been hit by hurricanes all of once. EVER. I guess this makes sense–more and more insurers are waking up to the fact that the best way to make a profit is to just take money and never pay it out. Could someone please remind me what use insurance of any kind is these days? I have completely forgotten.
  • In the same vein as last week’s “hey pot, let’s a pass a resolution calling the kettle black” Armenian genocide infuriation, China feels the need to berate the US for giving the Dalai Lama some kind of award. I quote from the NYT snippet: “If the Dalai Lama can receive such an award, there must be no justice or good people in the world.” Hmm, maybe that’s not angry-making. That’s just crack. You gotta love wording like this: “China has solemnly demanded the United States cancel the above-mentioned and extremely wrongful arrangement.” I’m stealing that phrase for my next cranky Tuesday. UPDATE: Gary Kamiya on Salon gives as well-reasoned a thought process as it is probably possible to give re: Armenian genocide resolution. In my typical rhetorical excess, I prefer to oversimplify many large issues, BUT I still think that there’s frustrating degree of hypocrisy in the US deciding to call someone else out on genocide before we’ve used the word to describe our treatment of Native Americans.
  • This article about the football success of the Other Large State University I attend, is also wrong on so many levels. Level 1: higher education in the Fla is so strapped for cash that we have a hiring freeze and will quite possibly be cutting jobs at this time next year. What gets national attention? The football team of course, thereby validating every sell-out master plan that includes building more dorms, promoting more “school spirit” via overfed football teams, and raising the cost of attendance for all those undesirables… I mean non-traditional students who have been this type of school’s bread and butter for decades all in the name of “benefits” that they will not benefit from. Level 2: The title–“With Its Roots in a Trailer”?? Wtf. I did not sign up for southern lit this semester so I could let that one pass. Level 3: It quotes Nick Saban dishing on their admission policies. What is more disturbing about this? That it’s Nick Saban or that he’s right. I will spend the rest of cranky Tuesday trying to decide. Level 4: b/c of this article, I am guaranteed to get a few more emails from non-Floridians such as the ones I got when the OLSU won a big game against West Virginia? maybe?, saying “gosh, aren’t you proud now?” No, is the answer. Not because of that. For a mascot as endearingly original and overlooked as my Owls, I will occasionally give a hoot, but not for these guys.

Well, there you have it. Things that make me go Boo this Tuesday.

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It’s okay Andy

September 10, 2006

Four sets, 17 aces, no double faults, whatever… Federer is just a morally bankrupt Swiss. Did anyone else catch that hagiographic piece about the ugly Swiss one by David Foster Wallace the Times felt the need to publish about a month ago? Two of my least favorite people together at the same time. Apparently the Times has succumbed to a major Fed-crush, check this blog final wrap-up. I have one word for all of you: Sampras. From the humble point of view of this tennis fan, Federer has a long way to go to touch Pete’s legacy, and when it comes to sheer visual appeal he is far behind Mr. Roddick for now and forever. Every time I look at his face I think, pug dog. That’s one reason why I try not to look at his face.

In more appealing face news, we put on The Island as wallpaper for after dinner study hour tonight. Ewan + Scarlett = opposite of pug dog face. Although after having read Never Let Me Go the plot really didn’t do that much for me.

Pictured below: Winner, Worst Possible Way to End a Stellar Career

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So sad. Zidane, we know he pinched your nipple and called your sister the whore who is also your mother, but why oh why in the final minutes of your remarkable career as France’s most stylish striker did you decide to settle the matter with the top of your bald head? With a single bad decision, you downgraded yourself from international hero to cautionary tale. Best wishes on salvaging your reputation.  Maybe start with a tearful apology? Works for some people.

Remember the mantail from early first round action? It got worse:

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That’s him on the right with the man-mane pulled into a half bun. To make matters even more frustrating, after Italy eked out their win against France today, the players called for a folding chair to be brought onto the field. In the midst of their child-like hyperactive celebrations, they forced Camoranesi to sit down and chopped off the offending appendage. But they only took the part that formed the actual ponytail (take it all off I say!) and then they tossed it around in the air between like a hairy hot potato. Ewww!

After ten pages on folksonomic metadata in 7 hours, my brain is tired. Still, it doesn't take much a brain to know which way to call it when Thierry Henry scores France's first World Cup goal since 1998:

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Our deuxiéme hottie oficiel!

Thierry, I'm married, but if I weren't, you could break my dry spell any day.

The Czech Republic = ugly all day long. Case in point Pavel Nedved:

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This guy looks like what would happen if Bjorn Borg's and Owen Wilson's faces got into a car accident with each other. Sorry Neddy, two not hot's do not make a hot. And not even your supposedly legendary footwork could keep your team from getting the 2-nil drubbing you so richly deserved. Go Ghana… just don't beat the US.

Also, Ramen of the Iranian team is off the All-World Hotties team. One of his teammates kicked Figo in the face. Thuggish behavior with spikes gets a big not hot from yours truly.

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My nose is still running a lot harder than Ronaldo was during the Brazil-Croatia game today, so I shall continue the series with our first official hottie. For once, the thumbnail size of this picture is not going to do justice:

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Kaká!

No unfortunate hair on head or face, pleasant smile, and plenty of skills. Having nothing but Christian Rock on your iPod, questionable, but scoring the winning goal for your team, always h-o-t. But sorry ladies and gentlemen, this 24 year old striker is married.